Posts Moved…

I will no longer be adding blog posts to VibbleSpace. This site is purely a resource tool. Hopefully I will be able to continually add to this theological sketchbook, especially now that I am back in full time ministry and pursuing my PhD.

In an effort to streamline things, all my blog posts will be located at stevethomason.com. I hope you'll join me in conversation there.

Week 46 Day 5 – When Prayers Don’t Get Answered…

Romans 15:23-33

Have you ever made plans, asked God to bless them, and then had them turn out completely different than you had envisioned? How do you feel when that happens? Most of us would be terribly disappointed by it. So, where is God in all that? Does God not care about our plans or our desires?

The Apostle Paul had plans made. He had a strong desire to fulfill those plans and he fervently asked God to deliver him from the Judeans and allow him to travel to Spain via Rome. Paul did make it to Rome, but only after a few years of detainment in the prison of Caesarea, and only in the chains of house arrest. Probably not how he had envisioned his grand introduction to the “eternal city.”

We can learn some things from Paul’s failed plans.

1. Even Paul didn’t get to do everything he planned to do.

2. Even Paul didn’t completely understand what God wanted him to do in the next leg of his journey.

3. A fervent prayer is not a guarantee of request fulfillment.

4. God’s version of our plan is most often very different than ours.

Paul did make it to Rome, and from there had a very fruitful ministry. He taught people as they came in and out of his house. He had influence on the Roman army by being physically chained to a Roman soldier. He had an impact on the royal family since he, being a prisoner in the appeals court of Caesar, was on the political radar, and he penned four letters that are now in our New Testament collection. It would have been easy for Paul to be discouraged by these circumstances (and I’m sure he had his moments), but he knew that his job was to submit to God’s methods and God’s timing. He was only a servant, serving one part in a very complex play.

As a final note for this week, read v. 29 again. The key to success in the Christian life is found in this verse. Paul’s prayer was answered. Paul asked to come to Rome in the “full measure of the blessing of Christ.” What Paul didn’t realize when he made the request was that the blessing had to be wrapped in prison clothes in order to reach its full measure. That’s where our problem lies. We try to dress up God’s blessing in the clothes we want it to have. We say that it must look this way or it will not, or cannot be a blessing. Sometimes, often times, the things that the world considers a curse are actually a blessing from God. If you don’t get a particular job, you may have been spared from greed. If you have a special needs child, God may be teaching you patience. If you lose a loved one, God may use the story to penetrate a hardened heart.

Let’s take time this week to a) evaluate our plans and make sure they are in line with God’s will, and b) make sure our “bless-o-meter” is calibrated to God’s standard of blessing and not our own.

Pursuing a PhD

It is three and a half years later and I'm finally able to speak openly about it. The image to the right is a scan of my journal from February 5, 2007. God woke me up and said, "Steve, move to Minnesota and get your PhD." I know it sounds crazy. Most people would write it off as an auditory hallucination generated by my own subconscious desires. Maybe it was. Maybe that is how God produces visions. I'm really not sure.

What I do know is that this event triggered a series of events that has dramatically changed my family's life. We put our house on the market in Vegas just before the housing market crashed. We listed it at $375,000. Today, it still has not sold and was appraised at $195,000 ($10,000 less than we owe on it). Really, God? You asked us to do this? Yep.

Out of obedience, and desperation, we went to Minnesota and moved in with my parents so that our kids could get into school and not move in the middle of the school year. All of our possessions sat in a storage unit, while my house in Vegas sat empty, and I slept on the hide-a-bed in my parents basement. Again, really, God?

As I told this story to people over the years, I never mentioned the "get your PhD" part. it was so confusing to me, that I just left it out of the equation. Part of the problem was that I was resistant to entering into full time ministry again. Resistant is a soft word for how I felt when we first moved here. I vowed "Never again!" After getting black-listed at a Mega-church and then watching my house church die a slow painful death, I thought it would be insane to willingly walk back into the potentially painful place called the church.

Through the loving care of my parents, the process of meeting pastor Mark from Grace Lutheran in Andover, and the slow healing process of time and the Holy Spirit, God began to change my heart and mind.

In January of 2010 I agreed - tentatively - to give ten hours per week in "consulting" work to Grace to help them develop a Spiritual Formation plan. Pastor Mark asked me to preach and to teach an adult class on Sunday nights. By the end of March the Spirit had taken back control of my identity and I surrendered. I went to Pastor Mark and said, "I give up. I get it now. God has given me gifts. I need to use them. I need to not be afraid. I am completely open to whatever God wants me to do. If I'm supposed to be a freelance illustrator and part time pastor, great. If I'm supposed to be a fully ordained Lutheran pastor, then I'll do it. Whatever, God, just show me."

That was on a Friday. On Monday Pastor Mark received an email from someone out of state that donated a large sum of money for the specific purpose of allowing me to work more at the church. On Wednesday I received notice that the IRS was giving me a huge tax credit. Between these two miraculous events I was able to reduce my monthly expenses substantially and afford to step up to part time status at the church.

In the process of exploring more involvement and possible ordination, Pastor Mark suggested that I pursue my PhD at Luther Seminary. What?!? Luther Seminary has a PhD program? Oh yes they do. Not only that, the program there is called Congregational Missional Leadership and is exactly what I'm interested in.

Let's look again at the journal page. February 5, 2007. That was three and a half years ago. When I left Vegas I had no idea where or how I would get a PhD. I didn't even want to be a pastor. Now, I am about to enter into full-time ministry and begin the application process to the PhD program.

God is obviously at work in all of this. It was a scary journey. Stepping off the cliff into the darkness usually is. It's like the scene in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade when Indy had to take the "step of faith" across the chasm. From his perspective there was nothing there. When he abandoned everything and stepped out he found that there was a bridge there all the time.

I know this journey is not over. But, we are definitely turning the page to a new chapter. I'm thankful for the last chapter. I'm a different person now because of it. However, I am really excited to see what the new chapter holds.

Further up, and further in!