Stuck in a Pit

Let's face it, life can be hard sometimes.  For some of us, life is flat out painful.  As we travel through this existence we bump around in a mass of humanity and, in the bumping and the moving around we inevitably either get hurt by someone or we trip up in a pattern of self-destructive behavior.

Probably the number 1 reason why people are not growing spiritually is because they are stuck in a trap of some sort of emotional hurt.  If you want to grow spiritually you will need to enter into the painful, and sometimes scary, task of introspection and heart surgery.

You must ask...

Why am I in pain?

What kind of pain am I in?

How can I break free of this pain?

External Forces

Internal Forces

To blame is to point the finger at someone else and say, "You are the reason that I am suffering emotional pain.  You  damaged my spirit and I cannot forgive you for it."

The path to freedom is...forgiveness.

The truth is that, even if someone did something as horrible to you as rape, molestation, betrayal, sabotage, or slander, you are still in control of your emotions.  Did you hear that?  No one has the power to makeyou feel a certain way.  Yes, the perpetrator of the crime may be truly evil. Yes, what you experienced at their hands was heinous.  These things are true.  However, the bitterness and resentment that you hold toward that person (and most likely toward God for not delivering you from it) is like a cancer inside your spirit that is slowly killing you emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Only when you are able to let go of the bitterness and find a way to truly forgive the perpetrator will you be able to step free of the miry pit of  pain and be able to discern the path of spiritual formation that lies in front of you.

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Shame is the state of self-blame.  We can fall into patterns of self-destructive behavior (alcoholism, sexual promiscuity, lying, cheating, addictive behavior of many kinds, etc) that leave us feeling dirty, helpless, and not worthy of love.  While we want to break free of these thoughts and behaviors we believe we are powerless to do so.  To compound our sense of helplessness we believe that God (if there is one) could not possibly love us because we are "damaged goods" and could never match up to God's standard of holiness.

The voice of shame whispers into our ear the lie, "If people knew the truth about who you really are, then they would reject you.  You must hide your true self and keep it locked up in a dark place so that no one can see.  If you don't, you will be exposed and you will be ridiculed, rejected, and unloved...forever."

The path to freedom...forgiveness.

The only way to break free of the lonely prison in which shame has kept you bound is to be able to forgive yourself.  The only way to forgive yourself is to acknowledge the fact that God can and will forgive you.  God (who does exist, by the way) created you for the purpose of experiencing a loving relationship with Him.  He does not like your sin, but He loves you.  God's plan is to shine the bright light of truth into your dark prison of isolation in order to set you free.

Here are the steps to freedom from shame...

1. Admit that your behavior is not in keeping with God's standards of holiness (not a problem, right?)

2. Acknowledge the fact that Jesus Christ paid the penalty for your sinful behaviors.

3. Truly desire, from the bottom of your heart, to move away from those patterns of sin (this is called repentance).

4. Accept God's free gift of forgiveness (this is called Grace).

God does not shame you.  God exposes your sin in order for you to step into the freedom that comes through a loving, obedient relationship between you and God.  Once you have received his forgiveness and see yourself as God sees you -- as a clean, beautiful, meaningful child of God -- then you will be able to forgive yourself, forgive others, and move into a healthy path of spiritual growth.

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Resources for Emotional Healing

Freedom in Christ - Neil Anderson

New
Way Ministries - Larry Crabb