14Jul/100

Week 28 Day 3 – Parenting

The entire book of Proverbs is about parenting.  The opening chapters remind us that these little  wisdom sayings are coming from a father to his son.  For those of us who are parents, we need to remember that our primary responsibility  is to write the moral code found in Proverbs on the heart of our children.  We do this both with our words and with our actions.  The glue that makes the message of wisdom stick to the hearts of our children is consistency.  If our walk is consistent with our talk, then our children will be more apt to believe that the words we say flow from a place of truth and meaning.

The following Proverbs deal specifically with the role of discipline in the area of parenting.  Read each Proverb and write a brief summary next to it.

Proverbs 13:24

Proverbs 19:18

Proverbs 20:11

Proverbs 22:6

Proverbs 22:15

Proverbs 23:13-14

Proverbs 29:15,17

What a young child needs is to be taught the boundaries of moral character. They need to learn the difference between right and wrong; between life and death. They need swift justice.  Like a funnel, the boundaries for a young child are very tight and controlled.  As the child learns self-control and grows in wisdom their boundaries expand like the walls of a funnel until the young adult can experience real freedom.  To invert the funnel and give a small child boundless freedom is to train the child that they are the bearers of wisdom within himself.  This is a dangerous practice that will teach a child to be “wise in their own eyes” and develop the heart of a fool.

Discipline is the key to keeping a child within the funnel.  When a child is walking within the moral boundaries they should be praised.  When they cross the line there needs to be swift and consistent consequences that carries with it a pain that matches the severity of the offense.  A small child (between ages 0-5) does not understand reason, they are concrete thinkers.  They have not developed a moral conscience yet.  As the parent it is our job to train them to what moral behavior looks like through consistent discipline, and both positive and negative reinforcement.  As the child grows, their conscience and higher reasoning capabilities will catch up with their behaviors and they will begin to understand why their correct behaviors are right.

Parents, let’s love our children by teaching them through words, actions, and discipline the way that they should behave that will bring honor and glory to God.

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24Mar/100

Week 12 Day 3 – A Faithful Mother, A Negligent Father

1 Samuel 1:1-2:36; 1 Samuel 4:1-22

Here are some observations about why Hannah seems more honorable than Eli.

She obeyed the Law regarding the redemption of the firstborn. (Exodus 13:13-15; 34:20; Numbers 3:46; 18:15-17) In the Law of Moses, since God had taken the firstborn of every household in Egypt, the Lord required that the people of Israel give their firstborn to Him. The firstborn son was to be dedicated to the Lord, given completely over to Him. He did mean this literally, but He also made a provision for the people to "cash out" on the commitment. A monetary value was placed on the life of the firstborn child, and a family could opt to "redeem" the child and give the money to the house of the Lord rather than the child.

There are many reasons why this law was created, some of which we probably don’t understand. One reason it was created was to provide an analogy for the redemption that God gives us through Jesus Christ. God redeemed us, or bought us out of sin, with the blood of Jesus.

Another reason, and probably the deeper and more immediate reason, was to give the Israelites an opportunity to actualize and demonstrate their total commitment to the Lord. Remember, God is not messing around; He wants the best of all that we have. He wants the firstborn of our lives, not the left-overs. In our culture this is true, but especially in the ancient world the firstborn son was everything to a family. The firstborn son received the inheritance of the father and carried the family name on into the next generation. By offering your firstborn to the Lord you were literally saying, "Lord, you own everything I have."

God still asks us for our firstborn, even if we don’t have a physical child. He wants the firstborn ambitions, the firstborn fruit; He wants the best of all that you have. Too many times we tend to give the best of what we have to the taskmasters of the world who don’t love us, don’t care for us, but give us money to put food on the table. We give the world our best, and then drag our weary self into the presence of God...if we feel like it. We don’t give God the first because we are afraid that if we give it to Him, then we won’t have enough to pay the bills and meet our commitments at work and in the world. God promises us that if we will trust Him enough to give Him the first of what we have, that He will more than take care of the rest.

In Hannah’s day it is most likely that the people of Israel had abandoned the law of bringing their firstborn to the Lord. If they did follow that Law, they probably opted to throw some money at it and get their child back. While cashing in or redeeming the child was acceptable according to God’s Law, it leaves room for outward behavior to exist without a transformed inward attitude. In the same way it is very easy for us to go through the right motions (giving a tithe, coming to church, serving in a ministry, etc.) but still have an unsurrendered heart. Hannah wasn’t like that. She didn’t just follow the letter of the Law, she actually did the Law. She gave Samuel to the Lord and handed him over to Eli to serve in the Tabernacle. Wow! It must have been a difficult step for Hannah, yet she did it in faith. Her simple and bold faith changed the course of life. It changed her life and the life of the nation. Because of her faithfulness God opened her womb and she had many more children. Because of her faithfulness the nation of Israel was given the man named Samuel who would guide them into the next phase of their existence.

Her parenting was God focused, Eli’s was child and self-focused. Eli made the tragic mistake that most parents fall into. He looked out for the best interest of his children over and above the best interest of God. Too many times we become child-centered and want our kids to be happy all the time. Unfortunately this becomes true in how we train our kids about God. We want our children to love God so much that we can fall into the temptation to always present the "happy and fun" God to them. We never want church to be boring, so we cart them off to their own church service where they can have fun the whole time. We don’t want them to have to sit still in church because that might turn them off and they will grow up and turn away from God.

Unwittingly, by creating this environment of constant entertainment and "fun" for our children, we are actually teaching them the opposite message that we intend. Rather than teaching them that God is fun and cool, we are teaching them that God exists to entertain them. We are teaching them that every impulsive desire of their hearts is something that demands attention. We are teaching them that God is their servant.

Children (young and old alike) are basically self-focused. When we have a need or a desire, we cry and whine until we get it. Part of the transformation that must take place in every person’s heart is that of focus. We must focus our attention and fixation away from self and onto God. In so doing we will become "other-oriented" and will be able to actually love God and love our neighbor. If we always got what we wanted, when we wanted it, then we would never have to realize that we are not the center of the universe.

Eli made this mistake. He trained his boys that their position in the temple was self-focused. In the Law of Moses God told Aaron that the offerings given at the Tabernacle belonged to the priests. It was their sustenance, to support their service of God and the people. Eli and his son’s distorted this truth and manipulated into believing that they deserved the choice pieces of the sacrifice, that it was owed to them, and that their position as priest gave them authority in the lives of the "common man" to use and abuse as they saw fit.

Hannah, on the other hand, trained her son that service to God, for God’s sake is the mode in which we should operate. She did not look to meet her own needs first, but kept God’s Law at the forefront of her mind and her behavior toward her child.

As parents in our current youth-centric, over-stimulated, must-be-entertained-at-every-moment, can’t-sit-still culture, perhaps we could make some effort to teach our children the discipline of waiting. We can teach them that it is OK to sit and listen to an adult talk during worship time. It is OK to politely allow someone to express themselves in a way that may not be interesting or even make sense to you, and that you, out of sheer respect for others, should pay attention and show respect.

Am I saying that we should intentionally make church boring to "teach our selfish kid’s a lesson?" No. Should we never do wild and crazy kid-oriented stuff in worship? Of course not. Should our worship space be dull and lifeless? No way. I’m not saying that. All I’m saying is that, as parents and spiritual aunts and uncles in our church communities, we need to make sure that we find practical ways to teach our children that God’s desires and the needs of others take priority in the life of a Christian. No human being is the center of the universe. God is the center and we all, equally and mutually, orbit around Him.

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16Mar/100

Week 11 Day 2 – Choose This Day!

There are a few lessons for today:

1. The choice is a continual process.

Moses laid before the people a choice between life and death. Now Joshua stands before the people and says, "choose this day whom you will serve." Just because the people had obeyed God and followed Joshua into victorious battle, doesn’t mean that they were automatically going to do right for the rest of their lives. As the blood on the swords was beginning to dry and the crops in the fields were beginning to grow, Joshua knew that the people would have the tendency to forget about the miraculous deliverance of God in their lives. Joshua knew that the only way they would be able to stay within the guardrails of God’s plan was if they made a conscious choice to do so. The same is true for us. Each day we must wake up and choose to live in the Kingdom of God.

2. You can’t choose the Kingdom!

What? One of the most perplexing verses in this passage is Joshua 24:19-20. After Joshua told them to choose, he said, "you are not able to serve the Lord." Why would he say that? Was he messing with their heads? The key to this is found in v. 23. Joshua said that the people must throw away their foreign gods and "yield your hearts to the Lord." That is the key to living in God’s Kingdom. God does not ask you to work harder to obey His commands. He does not ask you to wake up every morning and say, "by the power of my own will I will not steal, not lie, not lust, etc." That mentality will drive us into burnout and idolatry faster than anything. What God asks of us is to wake up every morning and say, "God, I give up. I am not strong enough to follow you. I die to myself. Please fill me up with you and lead me in the paths that you would have me to follow." The key to the kingdom is to yield your heart.

3. Parenting is a key to the Kingdom of God.

When we move into the Judges passage, notice that Joshua’s generation followed God’s laws. But as soon as that generation died off, the next generation quickly strayed and began to follow the baals of Canaan. How can this happen? While the point I’m making is not explicitly in the passage, it is one that can be drawn from simple observation in our own culture. Many times one generation can find an external pattern of worshipping God that flows from an authentic desire to know God, and they can follow that pattern of worship their whole lives. The problem is that they bring their children up in that pattern of worship and believe that by "taking their kids to church" their children will learn to love God as well. There’s the fatal flaw. That pattern of worship may be authentic for the older generation because it flows from their heart for God, but for the children it is nothing more than an external behavior. God has not yet gripped the heart of the child. The best place for the Kingdom of God to be authentically and effectively transferred from one generation to the next is in the home. The parents need to love God with their whole self, and serve the Lord in everything they do. If God is real at home, then the children will meet God and come to know Him. But if God is just something that is talked about at church then "God" will be nothing more than an empty concept, one idea among many, that will potentially get swept away when the child enters into the whirlwind of competing worldviews in the adult world.

4. The battle is healthy.

It was not God’s desire to have Israel spare the nations around them. In the same way, it was not God’s desire for Adam and Eve to turn away from Him. God’s desire and His purpose for us is to live in perfect unity with Him. Yet, He knows the poor choices we continually make and He makes concessions for us, as good parents do. Notice in v. 22-23 what attitude God takes towards the nations that were left behind because of Israel’s disobedience. He says, "I will use them to test Israel...The Lord had allowed those nations to remain." The fact is that the struggle is good for us because it makes us stronger. That is what exercise is for the physical body; it’s a struggle. When you lift weights you put your muscles under stress that actually tears them down a little. As the body heals the micro injury it becomes stronger and more resilient. In our spirit it is the same way. I believe that is what James meant when he said, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:2-4) Stay strong, and thank God for the struggles that you face. Keep your eyes on Him and remember that "in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28)

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1Mar/100

Week 9 Day 1 – Don’t Forget

Read the introduction to Deuteronomy here.

Deuteronomy 6:1-12

In Mel Gibson’s movie The Passion of Christ it is brutal to watch his portrayal of the stark reality of Jesus’ torturous execution as it is painfully and realistically portrayed in a vivid, front-row seat perspective. Why did Mel make this movie?

As I watched The Passion I was immediately reminded of my emotional reaction to another film made by Steven Spielberg, called Saving Private Ryan. This film depicted the brutal reality of World War II as it took you into the first-person perspective of a soldier storming Normandy beach. The grisly reality of that film left me sick to my stomach and somber for days.

Why did these men make these movies? Were they sensationalists out to entice the consumer’s blood thirst and rack up a box office jackpot? I don’t think so. I believe these movies were made for a simple reason...so we would not forget. As a post Viet Nam, Gen Xr, I have never known war. War for me was Desert Storm where we watched from the comfort of our living rooms as smart missiles methodically wiped out cities from a distance. From our perspective, it was no different than watching any other type of TV.

I believe Spielberg made Saving Private Ryan so that my generation would know the truth and would have a greater respect for those men who gave their lives—and their youth—to fight for freedom.

In the same way, and at an infinitely deeper level of intensity, Gibson made The Passion. We, as comfortable Americans, have woefully sanitized and intellectualized the crucifixion of Jesus. We can tend to forget the truth of the pain that Jesus suffered. So, a film like The Passion, as difficult as it is to watch, is a helpful reminder of the truth about Jesus.

Moses knew that the people who stood on the east side of the Jordan were no different than you and I. It didn’t matter that they had eaten miracle bread their entire life or had seen the water miraculously gush forth from the rock, or had been following a supernatural pillar of cloud and fire through the wilderness. Those things would fade into a misty memory as soon as the juice of a newly harvested cluster of grapes gushed between their toes in their very own winepress. It would not take long before the prosperity of a land flowing with milk and honey would tempt them to forget the source of their abundance and slip into pride, arrogance, and the pursuit of self-gratification.

Notice where the focus of Moses’ instruction was targeted. The weight of responsibility for the proper instruction in God’s Law for God’s people lay with the parent. The priests were not called to teach the people about the Law. The priests were only to manage the sacrifices. There were no religious schools established to teach children how to "do it right." Those came much later. God’s original plan for the transmission of His Law and the preservation of the purity of the nation was to that of parental life education.

Parents, every moment of your life you are teaching your children about God, whether you know it or not. If you are always gone and are working three jobs to "provide for your family" then you are teaching them that God is an absent God. If you are bitter and angry towards others, then you are teaching them that God is a bitter and angry God. If you are humble, compassionate, and willing to seek forgiveness and extend forgiveness, then you are teaching them that God is a compassionate and forgiving God.

You’ve probably heard the old cliché that more is caught than taught. That is very true. It doesn’t matter what you say about God, or what the Bible lesson is in Sunday School. The message the children hear about God is what they see in the adults around them. In our church communities we have a very precious and important opportunity and responsibility. Even if you don’t have a child of your own, you may be in the presence of children in the church. They are watching you. They watch how you interact with the group. They watch what you do when you think no one is looking.

As adults it is our job to teach the children about the Kingdom of God through our lifestyle. Why? So that they don’t forget. As is usually the case, this comes back to the overflow principle. If you are living in the Kingdom, and you are not forgetting, then your behavior will teach the children about the truth of the Kingdom of God.

So, as we participate in the spiritual disciplines of daily scripture reading, prayer, weekly gathering, seasonal celebrations, let’s realize that these things are in our lives to keep the reality of God’s Kingdom in the forefront of our minds and hearts and to spill over into our children. Don’t forget.

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